Virtures and Modern Entitlement

I thought I would revisit this an dedicate a certain amount of time each day or week to post something on here.  I haven't since February of 2014 so we will see how far this goes.  What has me on here today is a culmination of things, all of which I am sure will come out or be referred to in some way in the upcoming entries.

Recently I have been overwhelmed with the feeling of having my proverbial wheels spinning leaving me impatient and frustrated. 

I seem to be anxious for everything; running races has ended for this year so I have time off to hike and do other activities, but I am anxious for snow so I can ski.  I put a budget together and see the end goal of being debt free is not that far off but when I realize that's not going to happen by the end of the month, I feel like spending all the money I have right now as I don't want to make sacrifices now. 

AH!  When they added patience as a virtue they were obviously not aware as to how selfish and needy humans could become.

I say that because I am complaining of things I shouldn't be.  I am healthy, fit, have a great group of family and friends.  I have an excellent job and live in an amazing neighborhood.  The issue is the sense of entitlement.  I feel the right to have everything NOW!  Not in a few weeks, not in a month and hell no not in a couple years.  The generation that preceded mine,  my generation and those that follow have a sense of entitlement and having the lack or not a speck of patience.

I'll speak for myself; objects mean little to me.  Go into my apartment and there are more books than electronics or items on display.  I have no need for things to fill "space".  I have a truck that is slightly beyond my needs but I justify it each and every time I put gear in it and head to the mountains.  The only thing I truly want in this world is to play outside, travel and have the gear to do so...I spend more on gear and hiking clothing than I do on anything else in my life. 

So my point?  I am not impatient to get things that are beyond my means like replacing things that I can do with out or to go out and wine and dine each weekend.  I focus on the things that make me happy.  When I start to lose focus on what makes me happy each day, going for a run, hitting the climbing gym, talking with friends....I start to get overwhelmed and feel that things are not coming quick enough for me.  It takes me a few days or even a weak or two at times to realize I am in control of making each day fun and finding moments of happiness where I can. 

We can't be happy every single moment of the day as that is not possible....but if we shove our head in the sand because we'd rather feel sorry for ourselves, it will make for very depressing and sad days...and in the end you'll never meet the bigger goals you are striving for. 

I am 38, my parent's just went to a friend of the families funeral after he passed unexpectedly...he was 41.  Makes me realize that enjoying each moment and what we have and those we have around us, is worth being patient and present for.

Forts


(picture from steamgifts.com)

Here we Go!

It really just had to start. 

Like anything there needs a beginning and in a way this will be my platform for a new beginning.  We all know that saying ‘excuses are like a$$holes; we all have them”.  But when you truly break that down only those that live by that rule embrace their own excuses and do not push to be more and actually settle for mediocrity.  What is life if we settle for mediocrity?  Go to work day in and day out without trying to be different or pushing the boundaries?  What is the point in that?  Go through the motions and perpetuate the status qou?  Come home make a meal, do the dishes tuck the kids in, take them to practice…as Tyler said it “…a copy of a copy of a copy.” 

Ok I understand that these aforementioned questions are overdone or cliché.  I don’t mean it to be this way but let’s be honest getting back to basics is essential for all of us.  Look at your daily life.  Can you make changes that will make you better and once you feel and are better won’t this make you equipped and prepared to share yourself and help those you love?

Getting back to basics hits every essence of our daily life from how we love ourselves be it our health, creativity, dedication or even the food we chose to eat.  This becomes the apex of all we need and should need in our lives to make us a happy person that can share with those closest to us.   

For me a major basic is running.  Once I get into a certain flow and hit my stride –no pun intended- I begin to see things for how they are and how I want them to truly be.  It begins to make sense and I truly understand where I am and how I want to live my life.

Recently I was asked by a friend what races I was looking at this year.  When I finished explaining that I was taking part in the Ontario Ultra Series that features eight fifty kilometer trail races, yes five zero, and I hoped to attempt completing at least half of these races, I was confronted with, “really?  What’s wrong with you? Do you not like your knees?” 

This is not an uncommon response but it seemed to have been juxtaposed with a following run where I saw one of my favorite people.  He is a man in his mid to late forties who requires the assistance of a walker to take each and every step.  One awkward step after another as he shuffles along of left right, left right. This is the only way he can propel himself.  His little awkward movements are his normal daily movements that he has lived with for only he knows.  It takes all his effort to make it from one block to the next.  But each day be it a beautiful summer day where the sun is warm on your face or freezing cold, or even rain and ice like the day of this run, he is out there completing his daily walk with a look that would say he is satisfied or even happy. 

I cannot imagine what drives this man.  I have been given every opportunity and if I had his condition I feel that I could not have the strength to carry out the same regime or even want to get out of the house let alone leave my bed – yet he does each day no matter what. 

I have often thought of chatting with him to ask “how do you walk every day considering your disability and the effort it must take?”  But I realize a simple fact – he is probably not seeing it as I do.  I can only see that this is a disability for him when for him he is simply out for his daily walk.  No excuse, no weather permitting bullshit and no self-wallow, he doesn’t walk into the good life on a rainy day and put his fucking walker on the treadmill.  He most honestly and earnestly just gets out there and finishes what he started.

My final reminder of living life truly for now comes to me when I think of a training run for a long distance trail race last summer.  I was completing a forty kilometer road run where I had ran by runners and joggers of all levels giving me a quick wave to say hi feeling happy in our community of runners. 

As I meandered through each curve and turn after turn for mile after mile I came across a man in a race style wheelchair.  His motions were melodic or possibly hypnotic.  His arms like pistons of some great machine, his heart the pump and his mind the navigation all working together with the metal and plastic.  Above all that human effort and interconnected machinery was the look he gave me.  His look spoke literal volumes but simply stated in its most basic form “isn’t it amazing to be out here!?” 

It reminded me that what I was doing training for long distance runs wasn’t anything particularly impossible.   But it gave me the most profound understanding that; we are not meant to be mediocre.  We are not meant to sit and not push ourselves.  We are not meant to limit ourselves by our fear of embarrassment and or of our imagination. 

In the end I had no idea how I wanted to start this blog but I realize the focus is what inspires me most.  And to be honest humans inspire me most…those who truly live. 

I will end this first entry with a poem from one of my favourite poets;

Oh Yes

there are worse things than
being alone
but it often takes decades
to realize this
and most often
when you do
it's too late
and there's nothing worse
than
too late.

Charles Bukowski

Forts